New Motto

Before I left work last night, I started downloading a couple of video files that are huge and drag down the performance of my computer. This morning I went in early with the hope of editing them before interruptions began at 8:00. One video downloaded OK but I had to restart the other. While I waited, I wandered into Eve’s office to find out what she wanted to talk about yesterday. As I suspected, it was about Blaine, but it wasn’t a big thing. Every couple of months, she and I go out for drinks after work, and Paul usually joins us. We’re planning on getting together tomorrow night for burgers at their favorite sports bar. She wanted to know if I’d mind if she invited Blaine too. “I don’t have ulterior motives,” she promised, then hedged, “Maybe an ulterior hope.”

After a night’s sleep, the curiosity that was getting the better of me last night had subsided. It swelled again, though. My mind was telling me to walk away. My legs weren’t getting the message.

What, exactly, do I want to know? If he’s interested? I don’t know if I’m interested.

This whole thing has awakened something similar to a muscle memory. In this case, it’s overthinking, overanalyzing every single thing. Just as I haven’t missed dating, I have not missed that whole craziness.

Finally, my legs understood the mind’s directive, and I went back to my office without asking anything. My new motto: Move along, there's nothing to see here.