Flexibility

The other day I came across the restaurant gift certificate I won in the silent auction at the dog rescue fundraiser last month. When Blaine and I were talking about where we might go tonight, I asked if he liked sushi. He said he’d only tried it once. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” he allowed. “I’m game to try it again.”

The restaurant is in the historic part of downtown, which these days means fancy with high-concept decor. Dinner reservations are required on Saturdays, and we were met at the entrance by a young woman with an iPad. She welcomed us warmly but would not let us off the custom carpet in front of the door until she confirmed we were on the list.

It was relatively early and the restaurant was a little over half filled when we were seated, but it was already loud. The table was set with the place settings on opposite sides. To make it easier to hear, we selected adjacent seats, causing the hostess to shift the placement of the silverware and wine glasses, which seemed off-putting to her.

After studying the menu options, we decided I would order the sushi I wanted and Blaine could sample as he liked, and from the grill menu he would order an entree from which I could have half the Brussels sprouts that were served with it.

As Blaine handed the menu to the waiter, I noticed the tips of his fingers were stained purple and green. “Have you taken up finger painting?” I asked.

He smiled. “An egg is my canvas.” He had spent part of the afternoon dyeing Easter eggs with his grandson. Their church is hosting an Easter lunch for seniors tomorrow. The eggs, decorated by the preschoolers, will be part of the centerpieces.

That’s how we ended up meandering into a conversation about church and religion. Not exactly the lighthearted back and forth we typically enjoy but relevant. This is one of the conversations I’ve dreaded. So much potential for deal breakers to pop up.

It turned out to be less of a thing than I expected. Our beliefs and general attitudes are similar but our practices differ. Should we date long term, we'll have to sort out a few things but they appear to be sortable. The most important thing to come from the conversation was learning Blaine's attitude toward the idea of deal breakers. Obviously there are some things that should result in an immediate end, but far more often issues should be approached as resolvable. His belief about relationships, whether new or established, is they require flexibility to work. “Strength isn’t rigid,” he said. I found that statement interesting.

After dinner, we took a walk around the area until we were thoroughly chilled. It's another stretch of cold, damp, sunless weather so that didn't take long. We went to Blaine’s for the rest of the evening and took advantage of the fireplace.

This evening began around the time they usually do, and when he brought me home it was within the hour that they usually end. It was just the two of us all evening. No distractions. Yet it felt like it was over in a blink. There are too many days between Saturdays.