Today:
Every day, rain or shine:
Izzy and I have had a good week overall. Rainy and chilly every day but yesterday, but what can be done about the weather?
I've been exhausted by the change in routine--up and out the door by 5:30 a.m. for the first walk of the day, then getting myself ready for work and Izzy ready to face the day. It takes longer to drive to work, and I come back at lunch for a walk. I have to grab something to eat in the car. I went from trying to eat at the house to taking cereal and yogurt to work and eating at my desk.
I decided to take today off--extend my week off by a day--because I couldn't face another day of the work routine. To be clear, it isn't keeping Izzy's schedule that's the source of the problem. Work has been a drag on me for awhile. I struggle to find enthusiasm for anything I do. The exception is the work I do for Henry because Henry is Henry--he's supportive, collaborative and genuine. My goal for the week off is to slug out and recharge but to also give a some thought to how I can reset. I want my old attitude back.
Blaine has helped by letting me talk it through and providing insights more than advice. I find more reasons to like him all the time. Sometimes that is scary to me and I want to pull back but I can't anymore. When this ends, it's going to hurt worse than anything else has, yet as I'm living it, it seems well worth it.
He has been coming over in the evenings to watch TV and play with Izzy. He likes to get her so riled up with a squeaky toy that she takes off racing down the hall, back to the loft, on the couch, off the couch, down the stairs, back up the stairs...She can keep it up for about five minutes.
I'm also teaching him how to TV binge. We discovered he likes "Man in the High Castle." I must say he's taken to binging better than I expected. We've been watching three episodes a night. I'm itching to get to the latest season (I've already seen the first two) and may jump ahead of him.
Since mid-summer we've been hanging out on weeknights more and more. Usually, it's two or three nights a week when I'm at Paul and Eve's he comes over every night. I suspect this is neutral territory for us. He's comfortable here and is used to a lot of coming and going, and since I essentially move in every time I'm here, it is becoming a home away from home. Here, neither of us thinks twice about going to the kitchen for refills or opening cabinets to look for a cooking utensil.
As for tonight, we're staying in. Last night Blaine asked if I wanted to go out with anyone after work tonight. I told him my preference was to skip it. His, too, he said. "I don't enjoy it as much without Eve and Paul," I admitted. He agreed that the four of us are much more fun than any other combination. We're going to make a point of going out with them next Friday if they're schedule allows.
We're not doing anything for the football game tomorrow either. I'm relieved. It's an away game so there's no tailgate. No one has said they're having a watching party. Blaine said what usually happens is someone will decide to go to one of the sports bars to watch and people will gather at the last minute or not. He said we don't have to, and I'm holding him to it. Probably. I don't mind hanging out with the usuals, but the thought of a slug-like Saturday appeals more.
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