Blaine and I met Mica and Greg for drinks and an appetizer after work. Since Mica works until 6:00 and lives on the opposite side of town, it was later than normal when we arrived. The place was packed, but the wait was only 35 minutes. We had arrived first. I sent a text to Mica to let her know we were waiting on the bar side.
Blaine ordered a beer and let me have a couple of sips, which is all I was in the mood for. On one of the televisions was a show about the San Francisco 49ers back in the Joe Montana era and specifically the year they beat the Bengals in Superbowl XVI. It has been ages since I’ve seen Montana or Dwight Clark, who was a wide receiver and Montana’s go-to more often than not. Both were interviewed and both are recognizable but many years have certainly passed. Since I never feel like I’m getting older, I’m always surprised to notice that others are.
After noticing my eyes were focused on the televisions, Blaine asked which screen I was watching. I told him and explained why it caught my attention. I was as surprised by how much I remember about those seasons as he was.
My trip down memory sidelines was interrupted when Mica and Greg arrived. Mica hates football. She tolerates to sort-of-likes baseball, largely because she’s a good, supportive friend. Other sports, not so much, and football not at all. So it was unfortunate that Greg brought up college football as soon as we sat down. I didn’t participate, hoping he and Blaine would wind it down so Mica wouldn’t be left out and bored beyond comprehension. It took the arrival of appetizers to change the topic. The topic became food, and it was me who checked out of the conversation. Being friends with Mica has certainly expanded my appreciation of different foods, but I cannot get into a discussion about preparation or other minutia.
I’m not sure if it was that the conversation never found a comfortable groove or that I’ve been feeling stress more easily this week, but I was glad when it was time for Blaine and me to leave. Mica and Greg stayed for dinner; we left to catch a movie and share a giant tub of popcorn.
We saw A Star is Born, which has been recommended to us by almost everyone we know. Blaine wasn’t very interested until Paul said he liked it enough to see it again. Now that I’ve seen it, I understand why he would say that. It’s outstanding, but wow...
“That was so good,” I said as we left the theater, “but I feel like I’ve been kicked.”
Blaine nodded. “Repeatedly.”
It did nothing to ease the hum of stress I’ve been carrying. Since the temperature was mild, I asked if we could walk for a bit. We strolled around the outdoor mall where the theater is located. We checked out the huge Christmas tree in the center that has flood lights illuminating it but won’t have the Christmas lights on until the tree lighting, whenever that is. We looked at store windows and agreed that stores should bring back the extravagant setups we remember from when we were kids.
Blaine surmised that something was bothering me when I kept us walking long after we had covered the whole place. I couldn’t tell him the source of my antsiness because I don’t know where it’s coming from. I would have blamed the movie, and there was truth in that, but this is something I’ve carried around all week.
“Anything to do with us?” Blaine asked. My heart squeezed a bit that he would ask that, and I slowed to a stop. I promised it wasn’t anything about us.
We were along the side of one building near where there’s construction going on. There was no other foot traffic along there. Blaine’s jacket was open, so I did one of my favorite things. I slipped my arms inside and around his waist and relaxed against him. His arms immediately encircled and squeezed. So many things happened at that moment. Multiple feelings of comfort and security, and there were words, not voiced, not written but suddenly there in my head somehow but not from me. Trust this. And an inner calmness followed. I pulled back enough to look up at Blaine, wondering if he’d had a moment too. It didn’t seem so. He looked at me as he always does, but for the first time I think I got it, allowed his affection to cross the distance I always maintain.
“I’m better now,” I told him.
“Good.” I began to pull back so we could continue walking. Blaine’s arms held me in place. “I’m good too,” he said, “but let’s just stay here another minute and see if we can turn that into great.”
I laughed. “As many minutes as you want.”
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